Thir13en Ghosts, 2001
“Did the lawyer split?”
Spook Factor: 👻👻👻👻 out of 👻👻👻👻👻
“Are there really 13 ghosts in this movie?” Yes, there are. “Why does that matter?” Because I love “haunted house” horror, especially when there’s a full cast of creepy but easily readable characters waiting to be dissected.
Ryan Hollinger perfectly explains why I love this movie so much; check out his video if you’d like to be persuaded even more. Matthew Lillard from Scream (1996) and Tony Shalhoub from Monk (2002-2009) co-star and commiserate as traumatized dudes caught in a series of awful situations, culminating in their captivity in an eccentric asshole’s glass house. If the gore in the first 10 minutes is too uncomfy, skip the rest of the movie; it just gets worse.
CWs: paranormal phenomena, disturbing imagery (throughout), a lot of blood, mutilation, multiple deaths
OWs: strong language, implied home fire, implied death of loved one, psychic ability, flashing lights and disturbing imagery throughout, mentions of the occult, nudity
Jump Scares (in chronological order):
After the truck sprays “bait,” mayhem and flashing.
Dennis (“electrician”) drops his hardhat (flashing and jumpscares for several minutes after).
Dennis implores Arthur (father) to leave the house.
Pretty much any time after this that anyone is wearing glasses, in the basement, or just alive in general. Sorry, that’s just how this movie is.
What to Expect:
Thir13en Ghosts precariously balances between taking itself too seriously, being a beautiful exhibition of gory camp, and just being plain silly. Lillard is easily my favorite character, and I think he makes the movie much more rewatchable, bouncing between fun lines, exaggerated gestures, and the lifelong torment his character has experienced.
